All About That Vitriol

I used to enjoy election season, but this year has been so sonically painful that I simply can't even turn on a radio without hearing the piercing annoyance that is Michelle Nunn's voice. If Tom Shane and Siri had a love child, he would be it. If he loses the election, then liberals can take solace that the enormous amount of money they have poured into my home state to support his air campaign has given this American many a headache. I honestly would rather hear a Fran Drescher orgasm played in an EDM loop 24 hours a day for the rest of the year than to hear another Nunn for Senate commercial. Next week's election looks like it's going to go into a runoff. Fucking fantastic! Two more months of she-male radio ads. 

Now to the meat (or lack thereof) of his bid for the Senate. He is running on the old tired democrat 

adage of the evil Republican wants to eat your babies and starve your grandmother. To make matters worse, he is running around Atlanta telling black people that if David Perdue is elected then we are going to have another Ferguson right here at home. A lot of people say they are surprised that democrats would sink this low to win a seat. I'm not shocked at all. Matter of fact, anyone that is surprised that a democrat would use gutter tactics hasn't been paying attention. They have been doing this for years to keep black voters on the plantation. Michelle Nunn can pretend he doesn't approve of the ads, but give me a fucking break. We all know what's going on. He hasn't even lived here for decades. Doesn't walk like a Georgian doesn't talk like a Georgian, can't possibly be a Georgian. 

Before I go any farther, you're probably wondering why my pronoun for Michelle Nunn has been incorrect thus far. Here is proof that I'm on to something...

Now that I've cleared that up, back to Michelle Nunn and his bid for the Senate. 

So even if he is the one democrat that is magically independent from the national party (highly unlikely), what is he running on? Education. Seriously?  So Ebola is melting West Africa, ISIS is spreading the religion of peace by the sword in all corners of the globe, we are nearing 18 Trillion dollars in debt, we have an anemic 2.0% or less growth rate, and hard working people still can't find a job for a multitude of democrat policy reasons and he wants to beat the dead education horse. I watched a special on the news the other night about Harlan Kentucky and immediately wanted to punch the first enviro-whacko I saw in the face. With a chair. Full of rusty nails. Here are hardworking people reduced to wards of the state because the liberal elite in Washington worship at the alter of junk science. Here is a fact. There are no immediate alternatives to coal. The life we enjoy on a daily basis is powered by coal. Shutting down coal operations in the name of The Church of Global Warming isn't working. People are out of work and electricity is more expensive. Liberals will shout separation of church and state at the top of their lungs until it's their church. Hypocrites. You wanna see the result of people like Michelle Nunn's policies? Go to Harlan Kentucky. Look one of those coal miners in the eye and tell them that your fucking religion is more important than their kids eating. The democrat party has gone off the edge. The communists that pull the strings (Harry Reid-ites) have spawned delusional economic psychopaths and Mr. Nunn is no different than the rest. 

So onto my next gripe. In between the incessant Nunn for Senate radio ads, there is a song played every fifteen minutes talking about "All About That Bass." Considering the song comes on 21,576 times in my ten hour day I couldn't help but listen to the lyrics. Once I understood what the song was about I was irritated. Basically, the song is justifying being large and in charge. It's an anthem to all of the landbeasts to have that second entire pie in one sitting. After all, the "boys want a little more booty to hold at night." That line isn't entirely inaccurate. But there is a difference between a girl that squats and a girl that wrecks a bucket of fried chicken as a midnight snack. Sadly, this song is promoting the latter. I get it, no one is perfect. I'm certainly not and fried chicken is fucking delicious (in moderation). But this track is pretty much telling women that it's totally sexy to plump the rump and walk around like an African Rhino missing a thyroid gland. Case in point...

So while Meghan Trainor's objective was to have a feel good song about having a thunder rump, she is practically promoting obesity by implying that men want a tub of cottage cheese rubbing up against them whilst sleeping. Perhaps some do. But then again some men like to be hit with spiked objects for gratification and some men like to bump in animal costumes and while ripped on ecstasy. I probably could go on, but folks likely wouldn't want to see those memes. 

My other gripe about the song, and the reason why I feel justified firing back, is her lines ripping stick figure barbie dolls while showing perfectly healthy in shape women. Those women worked very hard to be in that shape. They are disciplined and have an enormous amount of self control. They are incredibly sexy and just because they had the gall to build an athletic frame you're going to bash them as being Barbie dolls? Jealous much? While you're having your third slice of cheesecake, she is putting up weight. Considering the mental fortitude she has to dedicate herself to fitness, she gives exactly no fucks what your fat ass thinks about her. But me? Sometimes I just like being an asshole and your ridiculous song inspired these words. I would tell you to have a nice day, but you'd probably eat that too. 

Happy Halloween.