Hollywood: A Thesis

Hollywood: Some people shouldn't vote or procreate.

There's something in the water in Southern California besides dudes on gear and silicon body parts. A poison so clever that it renders it's victims retarded. It seems that every time a washed up talentless hack opens her mouth, the world gets dumber and I feel even more vindicated in my belief that passing a simple civics exam should be a requirement for voting. Imagine how much better America (and the world for that matter) would be if Limey-Humping B-rate actresses had to explain the three branches of the federal government, the difference between a Republic and a Democracy (extra credit for opining as to why the former is superior), and due process in order to vote? Case in point; Gwyneth Paltrow has pushed all of the wrong buttons on yours truly and this bumbling thundercunt is going under the metaphorical bus.

She hosted a fundraiser in which a gaggle of elitist Hollywood assholes get together for the humble price of $16,000 to enjoy a meal and a verbal circle jerk. Imagine the irony in a room full of millionaire liberals discussing political changes that will help the poor. L O Fucking L. Hold the presses. George (I don't have a callous anywhere on my body) Clooney has all the answers to solving poverty in America, right? Listening to a liberal's ideas on economics is akin to jumping out of plane without a parachute. I digress...

So Gwynny is known for conjuring some of the most asinine statements from her infinitesimal liberal peabrain. She's given us such gems as "I love the English way, which is not as capitalistic as it is in America. People don't talk about work and money; they talk about interesting things at dinner parties. I like living here because I don't tap into the bad side of American psychology; Which is " I'm not achieving enough, I'm not making enough, I'm not on top of the pile. It's just kind of like, I am."

I remember when she was quoted as saying this and thinking to myself "you ungrateful little cunt." Here she is bashing the country that made her famous, gave her a near unlimited supply of money, and everything she ever wanted, and yet us working stiffs are the assholes because we work to achieve? As if achievement is a bad thing? Here's a little lesson for you, starlet: without the businessman and a hoard of people trying to achieve and earn money, there would be no Hollywood. No one would have any money to come see your less than shitty movies. I could ask everyone I know to make a list of their 30 favorite movies and I guarantee none of yours would make the list. As a matter of fact, I can't think of one rememberable movie with your shitty acting in it. You must have been really good at washing penises with your mouth to make it to where you are.

I could go on for hours about all of the stupid shit this myrmidon has said in recent time but she said a few things at her "humble" fundraiser that caused me jaw to floor syndrome. She opens up by getting moist over the Chosen One's mere presence with "I am one of your biggest fans, if not the biggest. You're so handsome, that I can't speak properly."

Gwyneth, The President's boyish good looks have nothing to do with the dumb shit you say. While he holds the blame for a myriad of issues, I'm giving him a pass on this one. I simply can't blame The President for the fact that you're fucking retarded. No human should ever have to suffer through more than five minutes of your verbal littering. Listening to a Russian nerd's exhortation on how Chess pieces are aliens bent on destroying the world would be more believable and far more entertaining than anything you could possibly believe.

As her fawning speech choked on, she said what many on the left fervently believe with this quote; "It would be wonderful if we could give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things he needs to pass."

I wanted to drop kick my television.

Thank God the founders saw it fit to create this Republic with the intention of making it difficult to pass legislation. That they purposely divided government so that some tyrant couldn't run roughshod over the rights of the people. Rights are a wonderful thing. Our Constitution, that you so despise, protects the rights of the individual from other individuals and the government itself. While I'm sure, no doubt, that you violently rub your bean to the idea of Obama having supreme rule over the people and thoughts of the Chosen One dictating your and his opposition have your English sausage flaps squirting like a fire hydrant, that's not the way it works. And thank goodness. How would you feel about George W. Bush having unlimited authority over everything? I never want to live in a country where one man can wave his finger and the people bow to his command. That, dear, is tyranny. I certainly don't expect someone with your mental capacity to understand, but a wise man once said, "Blaming the prince of fools should not blind anyone to the confederacy of fools that made him their prince." And you, cupcake, are one in many. So eat your caviar and sip your French wine with the worst president in the history of America and the rest of us will keep making this great country work. We might be down but we are certainly not out, you uppity elitist skank. Cheers.