Elections, Erections, and One Directions.

One Direction. If cocksucking was an Olympic Sport, the UK would have a Gold Medal with these little fucks. The song, "Story of my Life" is not about driving all night to keep "her" warm in the literal sense, it a euphemism about a three-way all male bathhouse bukkake. Taylor Swift's breakup song with Harry should have been called "I'm leaving you because you're a fag and you sing in a faggy band". No doubt a few years from now one or two of these cock jockeys will launch unsuccessful solo careers then start a nasty drug habit and become TMZ fodder. The cycle never ends. I'm extra bitter because Atlanta doesn't have a rock station anymore but we have three stations that play this queer garbage every five fucking minutes. Thank goodness for iHeart Radio indeed.


General Motors. Recently I discovered another little gem about these hunks of unreliable garbage. Instead of clamping the heater hoses directly to the heater core (something that has worked for over 50 years) they put a piece of plastic in between the hose and the core tit. A piece of plastic that breaks and sprays coolant everywhere. Shit like this is why I frequently shout "why in fuck's name!?" I just want to toss a grenade into the cab and watch it go up in flames. GM simply can't seal anything. Everything leaks everywhere. It's a never ending battle. I mean, if it's leaking turd out of the factory, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't fucking miracle sound sealing engineering into these buckets of poo.

I had a really good paragraph about diet advice from folks with a 91 BMI but decided I've given them enough grief (for the time being). Everything I say here is hyperbole, but when I talk about this in particular I can see now how I might be doing more harm than good. Sorry to disappoint anyone.


In lieu of not hating on the Ginormosaurus Rex  Plus Size brethren, I'll be throwing driver's with an art gallery of opinions under the bus. By that I mean these fucking uppity bitches that want the whole fucking world to know that they are for Mother Earth and you dirty capitalist pigs better watch the fuck out. They have the back of their car covered with leftist propaganda.  I'm so sick of these know nothing fuck rags living in mommy's basement who haven't a fucking clue on how the world really works. No, I don't want to pay for "green" energy when regular energy is cheaper. It's easy for you to be for something when someone else has to foot the bill. All because of the theory, yes theory, that the global temperatures are being affected by man. It's like a religion to these folks. And woe to those that disagree with their theory! They want to see you stoned because you are a denier! Yet, a baker who doesn't want to make a wedding cake for a gay couple is the intolerant one. It's funny because almost all of these self-righteous assholes have that "Coexist" sticker in their gallery of nonsense. What they mean by that is, agree with me or you're wrong. So to anyone that does this to their car, know that while you're at home repurposing your bath water, I'll be at home burning cans of hairspray that let off that wicked green smoke in your honor.

I turn red in the face during election season from having to listen to these fucking retarded political ads. Worse than radio, is the television bombardment. We have one backwoods country crooning fagatron running an ad in which he is driving a 1995 Buick Roadmaster while talking about "I grew up learning the value of a dollar and I drive this car because it still runs."

Wait for it

Wait for it

Wait for it

BULLSHIT! Yeah, you might have pulled ole' Bessy out of the garage of one of your multiple vacation homes to do a tv ad, but I've been to Washington DC, sir. I've seen you uppity cunts being hauled around in luxury Towncars. But let's assume for one minute that you're the ONE politician who doesn't get erections from stealing upwards of 30% of my pay. Let's say that you are a down to Earth, "man of the people."

I still wouldn't vote for you. Wanna know why?

Because what kind of fucking idiot willingly drives at 1995 Buick Roadmaster? I mean, that thing has fifteen gallons of pussy-off sprayed onto the clear coat. And it's a station wagon to boot. So if you're too fucking stupid to send that piece of shit to the crusher where it belongs, then you're obviously too stupid to do anything about the 17T hole we're in. Go fuck yourself.

Why is Karen Handle still trying to be elected to anything other than "Chief of party favors" at Chuck E. Cheese? I surely hope this isn't the best that Georgia can muster for  GOP candidate.

Jason Carter is running for governor. God help us. He has the same defective genes his inept grandfather. The elder Carter was the second worst thing to ever happen to the executive office in this country. Unfortunately, Governor Real Deal is a fucking joke and I believe there are just enough parasites in the formerly great state of Georgia to get the tampon applicator elected. Remember the democrat campaign slogan "We'll take their shit and give it to you."

Finally on the list of lists, gun bracelets. An electronic bracelet that allegedly only allows the lawful owner of a firearm to discharge the weapon. Now, it's just an idea the democrats have but therein lies the problem. When democrats muster the ability to think without it causing them physical pain, it usually results in terrible legislation. The day I put a bracelet on to fire a round out of a weapon is the day I have my balls surgically tucked into the shape of a vagina. Shall not be infringed. Shall not be infringed. Shall not be infringed. You fucking idiots really need to understand that it is NOT a suggestion. It is an enumerated right under the Constitution. You don't like it? Repeal the Second Amendment. Until then, suck a fat cock.