I don't give a flying tampon if you don't like Apple's products. While it is true that Macs are harder to modify the hardware on, it doesn't make a fuck in the wind because they work when you turn them on, every time. I don't know what kind of shit you weenies are doing on your pc's that requires your own power plant, but I run some very CPU intensive applications that work flawlessly on my iMac every time and without fail. ProTools, Adobe CS5 creative suite, etc.., all of them, one click and I'm off and running using the program I want to use instead of googling what a fucking "code xxx run time failure, the application has stopped responding" error means. I had a "custom" Dell machine to run ProTools on before I bought my iMac. If I had a dollar every time I got a blue screen or one of those aforementioned error codes when running ProTools, I could afford to buy an HD system and wouldn't really need to rely on either OS. So suck a fat dick, you cock gobbling Star Wars junkies.
"Dude, Android all the way." Dude, fail. Yes, Android has made some improvements and the multitude of device makers have made strides in making better hardware, but Android is still that fat girl with a light mustache. While it's true she's probably better at sucking cock, she still not the polished, fully functional hourglass model that the iPhone is. I bought into the Android hype and ditched my iPhone 3G for the Moto Droid. That was a big fucking mistake. When you buy apps, you're giving your credit card information out to people all over the world. We all know how trustworthy the Chinese are, right? Then, when you have an issue with the app, you have to search google for not only the app, but the device you're using it on. Some developers in the Android Market are nice enough to spare you from downloading an app they created for a specific device by mentioning such, but most won't. So you give Wang Chung your credit card info, he steals your identity and ruins your life and in the end you're stuck with a buggy app that was made from shit and disease. Fuck a whole lot of that. And fuck a whole lot of manually moving music folders to an easily corrupted SD card that the OS has problems communicating with only to have to reformat and do it all again and again. And spare me the "yeah, but Android does this this and this without having to hack it". Most folks are happy with their iPhone out of the box. For those that need additional functionality, there is the jailbreak. Unless you are a drooling toddler, jailbreaking is easy, free, and adds a litany of additional functions. So to you Phandroids, give it a rest. I could care less that you want a buggy OS with a bunch of easily corrupted removable hardware. You take the fat girl, I'll take the hourglass model.
Dear reactionary OWS supporters,
Whether you want to admit it or not, you are fully supporting more government power and less personal freedom. So when you litter my facebook and twitter with your anti-capitalist horseshit, I will promptly unfriend/unfollow you. I am not a communist. If you had paid attention to the my status updates/blogs, you would know that. Why in the world would I possibly be supportive of your childish "movement?" But I would like to thank you. I've never knowingly befriended retards and you guys are making it super easy for me to figure out that you're incapable of rational thought. I know that around half of our great country are flaming morons, otherwise we wouldn't have elected an armchair King. Half of you want big nanny government to change your proverbial diapers. Half of us want unadulterated liberty and leeches like you out of our pockets. So instead of posing prewritten, rhetorical questions as answers when someone ask if you're a communist, just say "yes, I am a filthy communist who is never going to amount to jack shit because I am weak and useless"
Dear Musical Absolutists,
Music is subjective, meaning that what pleases one man's ears may not please his neighbor's. My favorite band is probably not your favorite band and just because my favorite band isn't your favorite band doesn't mean that my favorite band sucks cock. I mean, that's a quantum leap don't you think? Is that your thought process? "I don't like this band you're listening to, so that means they love the cock". Really? Wow. Most of you aren't automotive technicians, but let me give you an ASE style question on music.
(There is a song playing on the radio. Technician A says he likes this song. Technician B says this band sucks cock. Who is correct?)
A. Technician A
B. Technician B
C. Both Technician A and Technician B
D. Someone put a shotgun in Technician B's mouth and squeeze the trigger.
Feel free to drop your own Dear Hater letter in comments....
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