Please tell us why you're canceling...

Canceling a shitty web-based service is something that happens quite often around the world. Companies that provide an array of different services and content are in abundance for a monthly fee. From NetFlix to web-based banks, it's not hard to occasionally find something that you can use for a few bucks a month. But sometimes the money you pay for a service is worth more to you than the service it buys. NetFlix is a perfect example. It was an ok service when I went a year without television service. But after getting U-Verse installed when I bought my house, I found that I had an array of channels that played shitty B-Rate movies and reruns of popular tv shows. So I canceled the service and saved eight bucks a month for something I was no longer using. When I canceled their service, they had a comment box that said "Please tell us why you're canceling." Most web-based services have this box that their R&D departments use to improve the service to stop loss. Although it is optional, I always fill out this box as I feel like giving a company an honest assessment of why I no longer find value in their service is beneficial to them so they may improve their service. With NetFlix, I wrote a small paragraph explaining that they needed fresh content, better movies, and faster acquisition of popular shows. Hopefully they will heed the advice. Even if the service cost a few more bucks a month it would be worth it to have newer, better content. That said, I have filled out a hundred of these "why I'm canceling" boxes and never once received an email back about my comments. That is, until yesterday.

Although photography is my passion and I do make a few bucks doing it, it isn't nearly steady enough to pay the bills. By trade, I am a professional automotive technician. I've been doing it a long time. It's what I went to tech school for and earned an apprenticeship in my 20's. Today I am Master Certified. I've been in the business a long time and know before long if an automotive related service is shit or a gold mine. At the shop I work at, we have two major databases.  One is the electronic service manual for every car ever made and one is for searching out streamlined diagnostics for common problems and also provides up to date TSBs for the occasional automotive gremlin along with the most popular confirmed fixes. 99% of the time these two information systems along with experience can help one make a clean diagnostic on a gremlin. Keep in mind that modern automobiles can have up to 18 different processor modules that electronically control everything from your instruments to your seat position. Let alone the hierarchy of modules, relays, sensors, and circuitry that control the power train. On occasion, a technician will get a vehicle with a problem that is nearly impossible to get a clear and concise problem nailed down to a component or two. This is when repairs start getting expensive because vehicle systems rely heavily on each other to work properly. Sometimes you have no choice but to to repair what you KNOW is bad and have the customer drive the vehicle to see if any of the concerns return and go from there. It's not ideal, but that's the way it is. This is not your Granpa's '65 Chevy. Your Lexus has more technology in it than your MacBook Pro. And no, I'm not even close to kidding. So I am always on the hunt for more information systems. Whether they be tuner forums or another cut and dry database. When I was in tech school, I had an instructor that was fond of iATN. International Automotive Technician's Network. The premise of the site is awesome. You have a litany of technicians from all over the world to come together and discuss gremlins regardless of hemisphere. I had a gremlin that the information systems available to me couldn't touch and my fellow technicians couldn't offer any substantive ideas. So what the hell, it's only $15 a month to sign up for iATN so I'll sign up, try it for a month, and cancel should it prove fruitless. 

Indeed the service was fruitless. Beyond fruitless. The site practically forces you to "help" someone else before you can post a gremlin of your own. Using this model, when you found a vehicle close to yours with a similar problem, there are 18 replies of people simply shouting the first thing off the top of their heads so they qualify to ask a question of their own. I was already pissed. I just paid $15 (or so I thought) only to have to work before I could receive the service. "Whatever, fuck it" I said to myself. So I picked out three gremlins other folks were having that I've had before and posted a strategy along with pin out values to confirm what I already knew just by reading their problem. This would lead them to the part that was bad. After doing "my part", I posted my gremlin. The replies I got were ridiculous. One guy simply copy and pasted Ford's diagnostic chart for the trouble code I had. Good grief, dude. You can't possibly be serious. It was obvious to me that these folks were just trying to do "their part" so that they could ask a question of their own. Complete and utter shit. The entire site. You couldn't even look up a car by year, make, and model. The search functionality was from 1995. Absolute waste of $15 (so I thought). So I decided that before the end of the month, I was canceling this piss poor service.

Once a week I check my bank account and balance. (Yes, I'm old school). I peel through every transaction to make sure a waitress didn't move the decimal on my tip. (That hasn't happened to me, but to a friend of mine.) So you can imagine my disgust when I find a transaction from iATN for the amount of $45! I was certain that the site said $15 a month. So I went back to the site and sure enough it said $15 a month. But then I read the terms and conditions. You know that box that we all just check off and click next? Yeah, that one. Well in that one in small legalese print, was the stipulation that you're agreeing to purchase three months at a time. Now, the wisdom I've gained from bent over a barrel as a younger man reminded me that companies that need to make you pay for three months at once aren't very good companies at all. In essence, they're saying that "our service really sucks so we're gonna fuck you in the ass for three months because we know you're going to cancel." These are the companies that make capitalism look bad. But in my "why I'm canceling box" below, you'll see that I admit that it was my fault for not reading the legalese fine print and pretty much congratulated them on shadow raping me. I filled out the box, clicked cancel and then went about my day.

Then later in the day, I received a rather hateful email by "staff" at iATN. Now, readers of this blog know that if some wiener washer sends me shit-laden correspondence, I'm not just going to lye down and say "Do it again, that tickled." So I fired back, and as of the writing of this entry, haven't heard anything back. If they do write back, then I will continue the saga in another entry. Without further ado, here is the email exchange starting with my "why I cancelled" box. 

Please tell us why you are leaving us.

For starters, and this is my fault, I did not know you charged three months at a time. I wanted to simply 

try the site for a month. I should have read the fine print. You should put that in big bold print before 

someone signs up. I can see why though, this site is inherently crappy and you want to screw people as 

hard as possible because you know they are going to cancel. Reading the "fix" suggestions is comical. 

I feel like I'm reading thoughts from a bunch of shade tree know it alls in the parts stores. Truly lacking 

any professional suggestions in my experience. Navigating the site is difficult. You should have drop 

down menus for year, make, model, and engine. It's simply not worth $45. Quite honestly, I probably 

wouldn't come to this site if it were free. In any case, lesson learned. You got me. Congratulations.

Now this is where they piss me off. This is the email I received..

: iATN Staff 

Subject: iATN cancelation comments

Jason,

I think you're being a bit unfair and over the top. 

For starters, we refunded your payment. If you had cancelled your sponorship in the first 48 hours, we would have automatically refunded you. If you had emailed us and asked us to refund you, we would have refunded you. We're not out to get anyone. We've got 76,000+ members, tens of thousands of whom are paying members, many have been with iATN for over a decade (we've  been around since 1995). Not really the signs of a company out to screw others...

I think if you had given us more than 18 days, you would have enjoyed the site more. For one thing, did you venture into the web forums at all? This is where most of the activity on iATN takes place, with about 1.8 million messages posted. Some fixes posted to TechHelp leave a lot to be desired, and some fixes are amazing. Again, this is something you would have discovered with more than just a couple weeks on the network.

As for navigating, you referenced having drop-downs for year and make, etc. So I assume you are talking about the FIX DB search engine. 

The current search engine is about a decade old, and is about to be replaced with a cutting-edge search engine that is now in beta test. 

If you're interested in giving iATN another few weeks in the future, let us know and we'll be glad to give you a 2 week trial of the premium features.

Regards,

iATN Staff

Lord have mercy, here is my response...

:iATN Staff

Subject: RE iATN cancelation comments

Staff, 

First off, "Over the top" is my middle name so no offense taken, especially from a bumbling cunt like yourself. Unfair? Are you fucking with me? Are you a five year old? Unfair? Really? I have a mental picture of you screaming and jumping up and down on the playground because Sally spilled your lemonade. 

I love how you underlined "For Starters." Because mocking folks really makes them want to reconsider signing back up for your service. So to show I can be just as childish, here's one for you: Suck a cock.  I've been told to never to lower yourself in an argument because you both end up in the mud. That's your problem though, because I am the mud. I will beat you with experience. And stop pissing on my leg and telling me that it's raining. "We're not out to get anyone"? Bullshit. If that were the case you would advertise a $45 fee for three months and be open about your fees. Or better yet, if you were a real reputable service, you would simply charge the $15 a month that you advertise in the first fucking place. As far as a refund, I haven't seen it. Nor do I plan on seeing it after this exchange. It's worth $45 to me to tell you what a cum sucking gutter cunt you are for sending such blasphemy to my inbox. So you've been around for "over a decade" and that somehow makes you immune to criticism? The federal government has been around for 226 years and has consistently had it's money cock in the assholes of the citizenry. Your web service has simply used the same model. Fortunately for me, I'm not forced to use your "service." I put service in quotation marks because your "service" is like reading a 17 year old suburbanite rant about the header he put on his ricer and can't figure out why that pissy orange light keeps coming on. I'm glad that you admit your site navigation was built when I was still booting windows in DOS. The first step is admission. And I'm in no way interested in a two week trial of anything other than a live feed of you jumping off of a bridge. From the bottom of my heart..

Go fuck yourself,

Jason