Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A twitterlicious day of shit.

Today started out well enough, got up, no aches, no pains, no stress. Drove to work while eating a blueberry muffin and sipping an ice cold Dr. Pepper. Got to work, fixed a van I wrote up yesterday. Took my truck apart to fix the IMRC valve to satisfy the State's requirement of the emissions standard. Three hours of my life I will never get back because enough moonbat environmentalists complained to the General Assembly and started their assault on capitalism in Georgia by blackmaling residents into getting an emissions test before they can legally get a tag. Now reasonably pissed; Got home, put an overly priced bulb into the back of my HDTV and that's when shit really started falling apart.

Put the bulb in, no worky.

Take the bulb out, try a continuity test.

Continuity test fails because it is a high intensity bulb that uses a gap to fire billions of electrons.

Should of known that. Fuck.

Put the bulb back in, still no worky.

Swallowed pride, called RCA.

No answer. Fucking assholes. It's 3:00 p.m. Eastern Standard. You lazy fucks.

Whipped out owner's manual.

"After bulb replacement reset RPROM by unplugging unit from power source for ten minutes."

Alas! It now works. But now I feel like a fucking retard.

Let's watch some tube now. Is it me or is it hot in here?

Walk to thermostat (A high end programmable thermostat from the Home Depot)

Air! Fucking work! Please! Air! No worky.

What the fuck did I do to deserve this?

Call the maintenance staff. Go eat Mexican.

While eating Mexican, receive phone call from maintenance staff.

"Your air no worky because you fucked up installing this thermostat. Put your old one back in, or wait til tomorrow for us to do it"

I think to myself, "It's worked fine for the last three months, why would an installation problem surface now?"

Got home again, sweating like a Senate democrat on a polygraph.

Ok, fuck it, I'll put the old one back in. It sure is dark.

I thought I had more batteries for my flashlight. Wrong.

Rewired the old piece of shit (AKA Mercury switched) thermostat. Still no fucking air.

Called maintenance again. "Hey, I put the old one back in. No worky"

Maintenance arrives.

"Hmmm, it wasn't the thermostat afterall. Your fan is burnt up"

I retort. "Oh really?" "So I just wasted an hour rewiring some ancient technology back into the wall?"

Maintenance retorts. "Yeah, sorry bout that, I'll put you a new fan in tomorrow. In the mean time I will afro-engineer your shit so it will blow cold air on you honkeys til I get here"

Now cool. Still angry. No bitch. My dog hates me. I'm out of Dr. Pepper. Bring on tomorrow.

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